Finding Self-Worth & Identity Outside of Work | Dmitria Burby | Ep. 16

What happens when we've built everything we thought we wanted, but still aren't happy? We have the successful career, the house, the family... but we're still missing something... our true selves. 

When we stay in the addiction cycles of "busyness" and perfection, we don't have time or space to reflect on what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. We continue in the momentum of the life we've created, doing what we think we "should" do.

Dmitria's story invites us into a "pattern interrupt." She began to question the track she was on, and by using powerful but simple tools like breath, self-care, and rest, she was able to create enough space and stillness to truly see herself and discover where self-worth actually comes from. 


You can learn more about Dmitria and how she supports others through her work at: https://www.findingluminance.com/

Chapters

• 3:29 Realizing you've climbed the ladder, but still aren't happy
• 9:37 What IS happiness, and how do we find it?
• 12:32 Decoupling our identities and self-worth from work
• 18:08 Learning how to rest
• 23:50 Being stuck in "busy" mode is an addiction
• 26:36 Taking a pause for "me" to breath helped create space
• 31:08 Just because taking a breath is simple, doesn't mean it isn't profound
• 33:18 Making self-care and self-love more accessible

Transcript

0:10

The way we've been doing work and leadership is deeply broken. Whether you're healing from burnout or just looking for a better way to run your company, you're in the right place. What is the future of work even look like? That is a question we get to answer together. After working with 1000s of executives and entrepreneurs around the world. I know that the deepest leadership issues are deeply human. We've got to heal ourselves if we want to heal the world. Welcome to the new self Podcast where each week I'll help you explore topics that will level up your leadership and your life. I'm your host, Nicole Belisle. I'm a leadership expert and Reiki master, and I believe the secret to more conscious work and leadership is self healing, grab a seat and get cozy because we're about to go on a journey. We are joined today by the wonderfully wise and relatable Demetria birbee. To meet Tria is someone who put in the hard work to climb the ladder, build the dream house, start the beautiful family, she had it all. And when she looked around, realized, wow, I'm still not happy. Where does this come from? There's something in me, that is perhaps preventing my happiness. We're going to investigate the intricacies of what happens when our self identity and self worth gets wrapped up in work or external materiality. And through Demetrius story, we're going to look at how to begin to make space for our truer selves to come through, through simple yet profound practices like breathing, resting, taking the time and space to ask ourselves questions that no one else is asking. And then finding the practices that work for you to create enough self care and self love for you to keep going and keep designing a life that is true for you, rather than the life you think you should have. This episode is an invitation to reflect on what truly makes you happy, and what practices allow for the creation of space and true self to come through. Without further ado, let us dive in with Dimitri birbee. To meet you, welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to dive into our conversation today, there's so much incredible ground that I know will cover. Thank you so much for having me, I'm so excited for this. Me too. Just in our little our little chat before before recording, I can already tell that the audience is going to resonate so much with your story. So I'd love to start there. And have you just walk us through what what was your career path? What what was success, like for you? And what were some of those lessons along the way? Yeah, I actually went to school. As a computer engineer, I thought, you know, it was the 90s. And computers would be a great thing for me to get into. And so I took this path down engineering, and then got really deep into network security, which is like a pretty niche and male dominated industry. Um, at least it was in the 90s, like mid to late 90s. And, and then I got out of school, and I went to find a job. And I was interviewing with these companies. And I just realized like, oh my gosh, I can't I can't do this like, like, these environments are so stifling. So at that young age, I just knew, like, I maybe made a mistake in my education. And I found myself working for a digital marketing agency. And you know, like the early 2000s digital marketing was a big deal and websites and having that engineering background, I got into data and analytics, right at like the beginning of when that industry was taking off. And so I spent my early years really learning that space and climbing the ladder and, and I was really good at it. I found that, you know, I was excelling with my clients. I was excelling in my job titles and how much money I was making. And the organization that I was with was growing pretty rapidly. So I had a lot of opportunity and I took all of it. You didn't really have anything else going on in my life. And so I could just pour sort of like all of my being into my job. And I share that part of the story because I really didn't have anything else going on outside other than like hanging out with friends and going to bars and, you know, like the normal stuff you do in your early 20s. But, um, you know, I really poured all of myself into my job and, and then over time, I, you know, found my husband and we started our family and I had all of these other things that I wanted in my life, but still career was at the core of it. And, and as I climbed the ladder, I realized, at some point that there was maybe something more that I was missing. Because I, I was sort of at the top of the game, I realized that the next job that I would want, or the next job that was in line, for me was a job that I didn't want. And that was the moment of like, wait a minute, what else is there I like, you know, the motivation to work was always to get the next job to like, master what I was doing, be really good at it, and then get the next job. And when you get to the point where I was like, Okay, the next job is something that I don't want, like, I just didn't, I wasn't prepared for that moment. I wasn't, I didn't know that that could come for anybody. I just thought like, no, no, no, you just until you're at the very top, you just keep going. And, and so that that moment in life sort of happened at the same time as some personal like, I don't know, I think I was, I was really realizing that I was unhappy at the core of it. And I didn't know that about myself at that time. And so coming to terms with Oh, my gosh, I can't distract myself by working towards this next title. And I'm starting to realize that I'm actually not happy in my life generally, was a really, really hard realization to face. And so it set me on this path in a really blessed way of me trying to figure out what would make me happy. And so I changed jobs. I changed companies after 17 years. And I thought, like, oh, a new job, a new environment will fix all of this for me. And I laugh because, of course it doesn't, when you're not happy, and you don't know yourself changing your job and stocked up fix it. And so I switched jobs and, and was doing really well there, but also just continued to realize how unhappy I was. And so had to eventually take a look at, you know, it's not this external thing. It's not that external thing. And I realized it was me that I didn't, I was unhappy with myself. And that I would have to take some time to an effort to figure out who I was, and what in the world would make me happy in this life. Wow, wow. I appreciate so much about your story, especially the the journey of getting to the top look, right, like looking around and be like, Okay, there's there is this next step. But I don't actually want that. I think people are becoming more comfortable with expressing that or letting that be true. But it hasn't, it hasn't been around very long this concept of wow, I can actually say no, to the hustle or to the ladder. And I'm so curious to dig in a little bit deeper into what unhappiness actually looked like for you on maybe an emotional level and embodied level. You mentioned that you you had to go inward to find what that was. But what were what were some of the symptoms or the clues that were telling you that you weren't happy? Yeah, it's a great question. I, for me, unhappiness came about that I was, well, when I was exhausted all the time. I just could not. And I was working like crazy hours. And we had young children. And you know, it was that time in life where you're tired. But I was exhausted. And in looking back at that time in my life, I think I was probably a little bit depressed or I was depressed. And that was like added to this feeling of exhaustion that I had. But it really came to this, like this beautiful moment slash story where my husband came to me and he was like, Hey, let's take the kids and go do this super fun thing. And you know, like I I think I responded. And I was like, that sounds like so much work. Right? Like, like the idea of like packing the kids up and like going and you know, doing something fun with them felt like so much work. And he was like, Well, why don't you want to do it? And I was like, I don't know, it just doesn't like, it's not what I want to do. It doesn't sound fun for me. And then his next question was like, Okay, well, what if we do this, you know, like, let's do a different activity. And my response was the same to everything that he said. And it wasn't like, in that moment, it was the same it was, but like, this had been an ongoing conversation for like, probably months or years, to be honest. And it but whatever. In that moment, he paused and in like, the most loving way, he asked me, he said, like, what does make you happy? Like, what do you want to do in this moment? That would, that would make you happy that would bring you joy? And I looked at him, and I was like, I don't know. Like, I actually had lost sight of what, what would be enjoyable for me to go do with the family? Or what would it be enjoyable for them to go and like, Give me space like that didn't feel like it was going to be enjoyable, either. And so it was this moment of him asking me, what makes you happy? What do you like to do? And me realizing that I had no idea that you know, all of this, like the nice house and the nice car and like the perfect family, and you know, the loving husband and whatever that we had, like, those things weren't making me happy. And there was something that I had to go back and discover about myself to understand where I had lost my way. And so it was that lack of being able to access joy in really like any environment that made me realize that there was something that I was generally unhappy, not just like, in a moment. I really appreciate the vulnerability there as as someone who also was depressed at some juncture in my career and didn't know it, I didn't, I remember having the realization, at one point I was I was the CEO of this company, and similar had had worked my way up, I was so proud to be there. But so burnt out, and everything was breaking, including me. And I remember a moment where I, I sort of just let myself collapse on the floor and cry for a second. And I, I remember thinking for the first time, like, wow, I have mental health. And I don't think it's good right now. And maybe that's part of what's happening. And just like having that not have even been part of the equation, I knew my physical body was exhausted, I knew I was processing a ton of emotion and couldn't keep up with that. But it was the first time I realized, wow, I you know, I might be depressed here. And so your naming of what that felt like, where you're looking around all these things that like should or could bring joy. And yet, because they sit outside of us, or whatever, because of our connection or ability to relate to it, it from a place of full vitality within ourselves. It's like to me, it almost felt like indifference. I was like, Yeah, nothing, nothing will make me happy, because I just am not happy as as a person, as you know, a being in a body. So I'm appreciating the vulnerability in in your story there. And I'm curious, I'm curious what you did next. So you, you know, you had this realization that you needed to go inward? And I'm hearing also the gift of the pause, like the gift of the the question that your husband posed, because I think sometimes that can kind of snap us out of our momentum or out of our norm, if you will. So this this pause happens, a gift of a question to start reflecting. What do you do next? I am well, I will say in the moment, I didn't realize I was going inward. It's only now years later, where I was like, oh, that's what I was doing. I was turning from this external facing existence, right that I had been in since I was a child of you know, earn more money, buy more things that will make you happy, like accumulate, accumulate, accumulate and like attach to yourself to make you happy, or to know who you are. It's only now when I The fact that I was like, Oh, that was the moment that I was like, oh, none of this is working, I have to search for something else. And in that moment, I didn't know I was like turning inwards, and Gotcha. And so I think it's just helpful sometimes to say, like, you don't necessarily like, know what you're doing, as you're fumbling through this process, like, you kind of take that next step that's in front of you. And then the steps, you know, they show up along the way, as Rumi, Jose, and um, and then all of a sudden, you're in this very different spot. But I love your reference of the pause, because it was so pivotal, that moment where he asked that question, and instead of me, well, I mean, I don't fully remember I probably yelled at him in the moment was like, totally irrational. But, but inside, in my light comes in place, I took that pause, and really took it in of like, oh, yeah, let me figure this out. And the first thing I did was I started to read some books. And when I realized that I was burnt out, I realized that I was sort of a workaholic and addicted to being to filling up all of our calendars, not just my calendar, right? Like, if we kept busy, if I was busy, then I didn't have to think about anything, I didn't have to feel anything I could be numb to, like any of my emotions, including happiness. And, and so I started reading some books that were like, really accessible to my masculine on the go, personality at that time. And they were things like, how to say no, in your life, like how to learning how to rest, asking the question about who you are. How do you identify yourself, if you strip away your job title, and the title of wife, mother, sister, you know, daughter? Who am I? And and I couldn't answer that question. At all. I didn't know outside of my job title. And like all of the things that I did, I didn't have any connection to being anything else. And so I really contemplated that question I still do today, ask who I am. And it's a really big part of my practice of remembering that I am something that I feel connected to, that's outside of how anybody else defines me. And so it's that that is what I when I think about that self discovery journey, and really getting to know who you are, it's like, what is that spark inside of you, that you can connect with? And feel like, Yes, this is who I am. And it and then that expresses in some way out, that can be defined, but isn't defining me from outside in. I love that distinction, that Yeah, that's really, really helpful of how you're of how you're framing that. And I, I also appreciate you highlighting that when you're going through it, we don't always know where we are in the process, or, or you know, are even able to see the full spectrum of what's happening to us until we have that hindsight. And I'm struck by what you said about learning how to rest. And that the like the impulse was to go to go get the books to go look outside of ourselves, maybe still in that pattern of leaning on the habits that we maybe already knew. And and that still was a pathway that was maybe the the next logical move, to even be able to start looking inward. But I'm struck by the the learning to rest and how, in a way that almost feels like the opposite energy or the opposite medicine, to maybe combat some of that, that control or that perfectionism, even that busyness because I know, I'm someone who absolutely has those perfectionist and control wounds. And I know before we hopped on, we were talking about a little bit of that like early childhood trauma as well, and how that can impact these patterns. So I guess talk to me about about those patterns and what it was like to start to both notice them but also like give yourself the dose of the opposite, the opposite energy and how you land into that. Yeah, I have to just pause though and say your wording there of perfectionist wounding is profound, right? We, as a society talk about like perfectionism and drive and hustle and all of those things as, as positives. And I feel like we've shifted to start to see that they are not always positive. But they do come from a deep place of wounding. And I think that's so critical for people to really understand that perfectionism. In, in almost any scenario, there's not there's not a lot of positive there. It does come from a place of like, deep hurt. So I just was like, Oh, you said that? And I was like, Oh, that I love that. So thank you. Of course, yeah, it's a big one. It is it is. And when you have had childhood trauma, which, if you're a perfectionist, you have really had some reason that your nervous system has adapted and taught you that you need to be perfect in order to be safe, right? Like, there is some place in your childhood development that you learned that in order to be safe, or be valued, that you needed to, like, uphold this, you know, standard that is necessarily real. But the idea of learning how to rest, I think was, was such a foreign concept to me. And I think if you would have said to me in that moment, like, Hey, I think you need to rest, which I'm sure my husband said plenty of times, to me, my response would be just like, incredulous, like, why would I possibly rest, like I sleep at night, I don't have time to rest, I'm too busy. I like if I rest, and I'm not going to get all this stuff done that is critical to my survival. And like now, in retrospect, looking back, when you're that busy, when you're a workaholic, that drive is actually your survival mechanism, you believe in order to sustain your life that you need to operate on full blast, 24 hours a day that there is no room to rest, because rest is equated with danger. And if you think about our, our like evolution, right? If we're resting, it means that we're not getting food, it means that we are susceptible to, you know, some giant creature coming in eating us or a lion, you know, starting to chase us and, and kill us like, those are very vulnerable times. And so actually allowing our bodies and teaching ourselves that we're safe, that the paradigm that we have, like taught ourselves for 30 or 40 years is not is no longer true. It's really challenging. And, for me, learning to rest was was really about finding that safety in my life, not my external safety. I mean, I've mentioned like, I live in a nice house, and I, you know, I live in a safe part of the world, I'm very lucky in that way. I live in a safe home environment, like there's really, very few places that there's like real danger in my life. But my inner system, the way that it was wired, really believed that at any moment, my whole life might fall apart. And you know, there would be something so dangerous that I needed to stay in this hyper active hyper aware mode. And so it's the unpacking of that, that took so much work over the years to really get to a place where I can, on a daily basis, relax and operate from that place of rest and stillness, and then and then have moments where I'm really active instead of being totally active all the time and having moments of rest. Right, right. And what I what I hear in what you're saying is, I guess because of the stillness and be and thanks to the spaciousness that that creates, it's the difference that I feel in my body, as you say that is that like the difference between staying in the reactivity and in the addiction to the busyness versus sitting in enough stillness or enough spaciousness to consciously choose and intentionally choose where am I going to put my my precious lifeforce and where am I going to choose to, to act rather or then sort of being in that dance. And I appreciate the frame on workaholism and a core patterns that sits at the center of that being addiction, right? Because I think for a lot of us who have worked our way up in the business space, or lead companies or whatever it might be, we don't necessarily think of workaholism as an addiction, it's, it feels safer to stay in that it feels safer to, to wear the mask to be perceived in a certain way by others. Like there's, there's such a protective part of us, that shows up that I think, in some ways is well intentioned. It's like protecting us from rejection or protecting us from having to get vulnerable. Because as you were speaking, the other thing that that felt really important is the busyness protected you from from having a look at the vulnerable parts of yourself. So it's like addiction does serve a purpose. But I think when we recognize it for what it is, like you're saying, now you can start to peel back the layers and really look at that pattern and where it came from. And I'm curious what in your journey, as far as practices or learnings like what helped you to be able to start to unravel those layers and investigate those patterns? Yeah. I would say the first like it first accessible thing for me was breathing and not like breath work, because it took me a really long time from this moment to get to like actual breath work. But this idea of, of just taking a moment to breathe for myself, I when I left digital marketing for this agency, I moved over and I was working for Nike and on campus things are really spread out. I'm sure many people have experienced campus life and you're running from building to building and you're running from meeting to meeting. And I remember having this insight of standing in a stairwell. And there's like a lot of people in the stairwells going from floor to floor and stepping off to the side, like in the corner, and like kind of hiding in plain sight. And I was like, I just need to stop and take a breath. Like, I just need to take this moment to give myself a moment to breathe. And it was like I couldn't do it in the conference rooms. I was, you know, moving back and forth through like, I was just everything was so packed in my day. And I was like, I'm going to steal this moment for myself, and I'm going to take a breath. And it was such a pivotal action because one, it actually, you know, in a lot of ancient and you know, cultures, they talk about the breath being the lifeforce. And so this idea of like, oh, okay, I'm actually going to be intentional and bring a breath in, feel it in my body, pause, allow my body to rest, I didn't realize at the time what I was doing for my nervous system, but in that, that just like one or two seconds of breathing, being able for my body to move out of that fight flight mechanism and actually come into a balanced place was was huge. And so I was doing that for myself. But then also, there was this intangible thing that I was doing, which was I was taking care of myself. And I was telling there was like the subconscious message that I mattered that I was loving myself that I was willing to take care of myself, and put what I physically and emotionally needed above everything else that I was committed to in my life for those two seconds, and I would do it like, I remember the first time I did it, and I was like, wow, this is amazing. Why don't I do this more often? And then I was like, I don't have time to do this. You know, and of course, I laugh about it now because I was like it was literally two seconds like I had time but I was not I was not a sane mind apparently then. And so I started to do this like more and more like that. And I got to a point where every time I was in the stairwell, I would take this like two seconds to breathe. And it did just slowly change everything and I think it opened up the possibility for the rest of my journey. So I think wherever you are, if you're in that place where you're like so busy and don't have time to do anything, like just taking a second when you you know if you're commuting like before you walk in the door to like whatever's going to meet you at home. Just go taking a second to like pause and take a breath or before you walk into the office taking that second to pause and breathe. Really, it seems so simple, but it does, it does open up your life to all of the other things that then I was able to explore it opened up the door to meditation. And I had heard for years, like, Oh, you shouldn't meditate, it's it's amazing thing. And I was like, I don't have time I like I can't turn off my brain. But this breathing, you know, taking two seconds, I was like, well, maybe I could, you know, meditate for like, two minutes or five minutes, I could try. And so it opened up the door to that, which then opened up the door to yoga, and really connecting back in with my body. And, you know, it all sort of circles around this idea of slowly finding safety in my body again, which then allowed me to really take a deeper look at, you know, what, what was I avoiding? What was I running from, that I didn't want to have to take a hard look at and deal with from from a young age. Right? Right. It's what's remarkable to me is how simple but profound something like the breath can actually be. And I can't help but think of the, the comparison between, say, tech and nature, masculine and feminine, right, it's like, I think, I think we've gotten to this point where we've learned to value that which is really complex, or showy, or over the top or expensive, or whatever it might be. And yet, there's this incredible profundity that exists in in things that are free and things that are as simple as taking a breath or putting our bare feet on the ground. And I think we've systematically learned to devalue the feminine so much, that it's it's almost a reclamation of that simple profundity that we're in right now, as we as we relearn these things. And what I love about your story here is you were almost able to leave yourself breadcrumbs along the way of like having the environmental cue that okay, when I'm in the stairwell, I'm going to breathe and baking that in, so that you could actually over time start to value yourself and feel like I'm worthy of this breath, I'm worthy of having a nervous system that isn't going haywire all the time. And so I love that you were able to, to design that into your life. And it sounds like doing that is part of what opened up even more space and let you look at that life differently so that you could start to make even more choices or leaning, like, lean in even more into those spaces. So I'm, yeah, I'm appreciating the strategy that you that you had there, whether you realize it at the time, or not of like, how profound that strategy actually would be. Yeah, I definitely did not know what I was doing then. But now I'm like, Oh, it is it was I was genius to do this for myself. Right. But I do think, um, you know, it speaks to this idea of, I think when I was in that space, I thought, you know, self care or self love, or, you know, finding this space to rest had to be something that was like, so far away from where I was that I couldn't even get myself there. Like, a great example is like, somebody would be like, well just take a bath and relax. And I was like, oh, that sounds horrible. Like sitting in a bathtub and like, you know, the way that people just got it. I was just like, that does not sound self carry. To me, it doesn't sound good. It's not going to feel good, like, whatever. But it was because I was so far away from being able to be in touch with myself and really enjoy the calmness of it, that it was just it was like too far of a stretch. And so finding something that felt like self care that was much closer and much more accessible to me was critical in in the unlocking. And so wherever you are with my clients and even with myself today, I'm like, What is that thing that feels like it's just outside of accessible or are right inside like I want to push myself to the limit of my comfort zone and sadly take stopping in the stairwell for two seconds. I was right outside the limit of my comfort zone in that moment. But, you know, even today, I'm like, Okay, what is the practice that I can have? That puts me just outside where I'm comfortable, but I know is nourishing? And so how do I like, add that into my life now? Where it's not taking so much of a leap that you just discount it completely. So finding that that like balance of where you can reach the step, I think is really important in the process. Yeah, definitely. I like the visual of the comfort zone as well. And, and I almost picture it as a bubble, right? Like, it just gets kind of bigger and bigger, the more comfortable you get, being in the stillness, or being with your own thoughts, your own emotions, and then it's like, Okay, what's, what's one more step I can take? So I think that's super, super helpful. And I can't help but ask as we, as we wind down what has been a beautiful conversation so far, as you look at your life now, and how some of these practices or these these different ways of, of rebalancing your life, if I can label it that way. What what is life feel like now? And what's your relationship to self worth? Now that you're not outsourcing it to say work? Yeah. I love this question. Thank you, I, like feels really good. And, and I feel like, in every moment, I feel like I have connection to myself and connection to other people around me, regardless of where or who I'm with, I'm able to be present with what's happening now, instead of thinking about what might happen in the future, or what happened in the past. And there's, you know, sort of an appreciation for whatever is happening in the moment. So, you know, sometimes I feel like, when I talk with people, it can be interpreted that, like, my life is perfect. And I'm, like, always happy. And like, that must mean that, like, nothing goes wrong, and you're kind of like, that's not possible in life. And I am happy, like, most of the time, and I really enjoy my life, most of the time. But it's this appreciation for the ups and the downs in my life. Because when I'm up and thing, and I feel really good, and things are like joyful, and, and you know, effervescent and happy, I can really enjoy it. And when things are down, or like I'm hitting a rough patch, or, you know, like we're dealing with a challenge in our family, or whatever it is, I can really appreciate the growth that's coming out of that moment, instead of being caught in the like, Oh, my life is horrible, or like this is never gonna get solved, or, you know, stepping out of the fear of what might happen, allows me to just have some perspective of, oh my gosh, so much good is gonna come up from this, I don't know, I can't know what good will come from this, like scary or bad or what challenging situation. But I feel like I've lived through enough of the ups and downs now to know that the up is coming, and it's gonna be pretty incredible if the low is here. And so having that perspective, I think is what allows me to really feel like I enjoy all aspects of my life. And the inner self worth, the inner love is somehow this idea of like, there is an inner well of who, whoever I am, and the excitement of constantly getting to discover that, that I know who I am in this moment, I know what I what I offer the world and and then knowing that tomorrow, it's going to be slightly different and excited to get to know myself and who I'm going to be and how I'm going to evolve. Tomorrow, the next day, who I'm going to be a new year, it's gonna be totally different and that that idea of knowing I'm evolving is is exciting. So beautifully said so beautifully said. And I think for any of the listeners who have that more entrepreneurial mindset and find themselves in a lot of those ups and downs and in that inner dialogue around their self worth or what does it mean if I don't succeed? What does it mean if I Don't stick with this or whatever those inner conversations are, I think your story points to a different type of relationship with ourselves. That's possible where it's, you know, change, change and evolution is, is okay, we can be a new self in a week from now in a month from now. And we can, we can trust ourselves through that, like, that's what I really hear in what you're saying of like, I trust myself now to get through the ups and downs and to, to look at the hard stuff to ask the questions that might illuminate a different perspective or a new discovery, because I love how you frame that of, I get to constantly discover into this, this infinite well of who I am. And I, I just think that's such a beautiful frame on it, especially for for those entrepreneurs and creators that are listening. So thank you for through your story and through your wisdom taking us through the nuance, because I think, as we as we transition into new ways of working new ways of doing business, there's a huge cultural shift happening in leadership right now. And I think it's going to take all of us to learn how to trust ourselves through the uncertainty and the ambiguity that we now face. And it's, it's always so inspiring to me to to get to see Living Proof, essentially, of, okay, like we can, we can do hard things we can we can look at ourselves, even, you know, even when that feels hard. So, Dimitri, I thank you so much for sharing your story. I want to kick it back to you for any closing thoughts, and also letting the listeners know where they can find you if they want to learn more about you and your work. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's been amazing. For if you want to find me, you can find me on Instagram at finding luminance or my website is finding luminance.com Amazing, amazing to meet you. Thank you so much. Thanks for being a light in this world through how you're living your life. And, yes, just just thank you just ending. Yeah, I think that's it like the past through is always gratitude. And so, you know, how can you be just a little bit more grateful for what's coming into your life? So thank you. And we'll we'll leave listeners with that question right there. How can you be a little more grateful for what's coming into your life? Thanks for tuning in listeners. We'll see you next week. The inner work is often the hardest work, but it is the work required for lasting change and healthier future for us all. If you found the show valuable please leave a review and subscribe. You can also take a deeper dive with me at Nicole belisle.com Thanks again for being here and showing up for your new self. Your future self is certainly thank you